1. Firstly, how can someone create an authentic and appealing online dating profile that attracts potential matches?

My advice is always just to be yourself. Allow your true self to shine through by showing your different interests – ideally through images which bring them to life. Dial up the fun aspects of your personality with action shots, from playing a guitar, to cooking, travelling or sailing. The best relationships are built on trust, so it’s important to be honest and to use realistic and up to date images. Try to avoid cliches, like sunsets or drinking wine in front of a roaring fire and remember to stay positive about yourself.  If you’re struggling for inspiration, friends can be a valuable resource and often know you better than you know yourself. They can also proofread it for you afterwards, which is super important as poor grammar can be a huge turnoff. 

  1. Is it important to have lots of things in common at this age? (50+) 

It’s a common myth that you need to have lots in common for romance to spark. In my experience the best relationships are founded on complimentary interests. For example, if you are a keen cook, finding a partner who loves to enjoy their food is a win-win. Or you may enjoy travelling and your partner is a keen sailor, so introduces you to a new way to see the world and learn a new skill. 

This is a great time to explore new ideas and opportunities so synergy rather than being the same is much more valuable.

  1. How can someone navigate online dating to find genuine connections and avoid wasting time on incompatible matches?

If someone is genuinely interested in finding out more about you, they will ask you questions. Pay attention to whether they respond within a reasonable amount of time or just dip in and out of conversations. You will get a sense as to how engaged they are from this. I sometimes advise clients to put a question on end of their profile write-up – not only is this a good conversation-starter, it’ll also tell you whether they actually read your profile, rather than just scrolling through the images.  

Make sure you listen carefully when people tell you about themselves and ask yourself whether it feels like a good match for you. At this early stage if you don’t feel it’s a compatible match, your instinct is probably right. 

  1. How should you communicate your expectations to a potential partner?

Be clear in your own mind about what you are looking for before you start dating – this makes it much easier to filter out the best matches for you. It’s not just about what you want, but what you actually need from a relationship by this stage of life. Be honest and upfront about this, but be realistic and communicate with them in a kind and open minded way as it’s likely they too are figuring out what they want and you don’t want to put off a potentially great match.

  1. What are some practical tips for women to navigate the dating scene and that may have occurred since they were last single?

For many of my clients, who are starting out dating after being married or in a long term relationship the prospect of dating is daunting. Online dating is a great place to start but it’s important to do your research and find the right app for you. Some sites have more of a hook-up culture, whereas some specialise in over 50s dating – you can also get a more tailored service through a subscription service. I always say it’s important to have the right mindset; be prepared to try new things and be more adventurous will ensure you stay open to new opportunities that come your way. 

Don’t be surprised that some of the users may be married and others will just want sex. So it’s important that your profile portrays the message you want them to take away. Above all remember, it’s perfectly ok to take things slowly and at your own pace. It can take time to feel comfortable with a new person and you’ll want to establish a connection first. 

  1. What are some common challenges faced by people over 50 when it comes to online dating, and how can they overcome them?

Ghosting is very common in the modern dating world. This is when you have been chatting with someone either in the dating app, by text or on the phone and they suddenly blank you and stop communicating without explanation.  Please don’t take it personally as it is not a reflection on you. It happens a lot and is part of the dating scene these days. To overcome this, I always advise my clients to cast the net a little wider and keep conversations going with three or four people at any one time. 

This way, if you are ghosted, there are others you can carry on speaking with so it dials down the feeling of rejection. A good way to look at it is that it is better to happen now that when you are in a more serious relationship.

  1. Any important safety precautions to take? Are there any red flags or warning signs to be aware of?

There are many reported cases of fraudsters on sites where people are not what they seem. Catfishing is the process of luring someone into a relationship by means of a fictional online persona. So, if they seem too good to be true, they usually are. Do not share personal information until you are sure you know who you are sharing it with. If someone is asking questions that make you feel uncomfortable then listen to your instincts and cut off contact. Never send money or feel under pressure to share personal details. 

It’s also super important to know your deal breakers in a relationship and be prepared to walk away if your boundaries are breached. No second chances – stick to your guns. Always listen to your gut instinct. Write down your list of up to five ‘must not haves’ and if any of these show up – un-match and cut all contact. The biggest mistake I see time and time again is thinking that they can change someone, or that they will be different with you. They will not. So, deploy 

your parachute and leave immediately. 

  1. What about green flags? What should mature women look out for?

It’s important to do the work before you start dating so you know what you want and, more importantly,  what you need. By now most of us have learnt a few lessons the hard way so it’s time to honour this and ensure you don’t repeat those patterns. 

Ask yourself “What do I need from a partner? What is important to me in a relationship?” I work on these areas with my clients and have an exercise called ‘design your ideal partner’ where we deep dive into everything you want and need from a partner so you can spot them when they appear.

When you know what you are really looking for it is much easier to spot those positive, green flags.

  1. How can people over 50 navigate the issue of age preferences or ageism on dating apps?

It may surprise you to know that age is not a limiting factor for dating in many cases these days. In fact, there has been a rise in the number of younger men looking to date older women. Primarily because this age group is more aware of what they want and won’t take them on a date via the ring shop or Baby Gap! 

You can set your age preferences so that only the people who have specified your age group will see your profile. For those who aren’t interested don’t worry about them. They were never a good match for you in the first place. 

  1. What advice do you have to anyone over 50 who may feel hesitant or insecure about putting themselves out there online?

Remember that there is no pressure. You can dip your toe in the water with online apps without ever having to meet up with anyone if you don’t to. Take it one step at a time. It’s a great way to build up your dating confidence and hone your radar for filtering out those who are not a good match and identifying those who are.  If you have put the work in to identify what you want and need from a partner then you are increasing your chances of finding someone special who will make you truly happy. Your list of ‘must not haves’ will mean that if any red flags show up you are out – with immediate effect. This dials down the risk of ending up hurt again and increases your chances of finding a romantic partner. 

  1. How can people over 50 handle rejection or disappointment on dating apps in a healthy and resilient manner?

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket – and don’t take anything too personally. Remember that you too will be rejecting and disappointing people by not matching those that have liked your profile. This is how it works and, because you do not know these people, there’s far less scope for getting hurt.  If you are ghosted or someone lets you down then count it as a lucky escape to get out earlier rather than when you are more invested. 

  1. Any fun date ideas for women over 50?

Forget the notion of finding ‘Mr Right’ and instead focus on looking for ‘Mr Right Now’. That way you can have more fun and not take it too seriously. If deeper feelings develop then that is a bonus rather than an expectation. 

An activity, as long as it’s within your comfort zone, is a great way to have a fun date and gives you a chance to really get to know them. It could be a bike ride, taking in some live music, taking a cookery class or a cheese and wine tasting. Trying something new is a great ice-breaker. 

  1. Can you share any success stories or inspiring examples of people who have found meaningful relationships later in life through online dating?

A client of mine was devastated when her husband of 23 years left her for a younger woman. She felt she would never love anyone at first and spent six months feeling isolated and alone. When I met her, she was ready to put in the work to rediscover herself and her identity now she was single. She rediscovered her passion for art which she had neglected for years due to family commitments and never putting herself first. After a year of being single she signed up to a dating app. She had a few dates that she didn’t have a connection with but then took an art class with a man who she had only known for a few weeks and they instantly hit it off. They are both in their late 50’s and are having a great time as all their kids have left home and they have time to spend travelling together. They have just been off on a three-month trip around the US and returned to announce they are now engaged! 

  1. Finally, can you share your top three dating sites and apps for women aged 50+. A brief description on what they are, why they’re good for this age group, and any useful functions worth knowing?

Apps:

  • Bumble – best dating app for women. You can make video calls and lazy users are penalised as you only have 24 hours to initiate a conversation before the match expires. 
  • Silver Singles – best for over-50s looking for love. Free membership but full profiles are behind a paywall if you want to make contact. 

Dating sites

  • Eharmony – -best for serious relationships, free membership and LGBT inclusive 
  • Our Time – best for meeting a variety of over-50s in your local area. Because it’s owned y Match Group, your profile will appear on other dating sites, widening the net. 

Elite Singles  – best for professionals and uses a personality test to match users to compatibility